Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
