Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We named our party play list daddy issues
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
