yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Welp...herpes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
