New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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