I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
