**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
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her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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