So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
