we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
