I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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