so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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