I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
