god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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