that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
