I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
