Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
