You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
