I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize