We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
two words: eviction party
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
