He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
