is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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