haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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