I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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