youre lurking in front of me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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