You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
