the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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