Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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