Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
