You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
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Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
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I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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