it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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