at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
