i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
