They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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