omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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