3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do vagina's smell?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
