sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
