we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
