Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
