you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
