i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize