Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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