I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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