Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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