i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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