So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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