Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't deserve a penis
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
