Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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