I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
