fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
