i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
