So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
