Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
