no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
