I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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