I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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