I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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