I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
