I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize