Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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