half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
