pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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