I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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